


lover, i'm alone

by deifixc



Category: Venom (Movie 2018)
Genre: Eddie Brock Loves Venom Symbiote, Fluff and Smut, M/M, Mutual Masturbation, Venom Symbiote Loves Eddie Brock, Xenophilia, very literally
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-09
Updated: 2018-11-23
Packaged: 2019-08-20 20:19:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,149
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16562471
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deifixc/pseuds/deifixc
Summary: After nearly being killed in the battle with Riot, Venom had made himself as unnoticeable as possible during his healing process. Eddie is overjoyed to learn that his symbiote had survived after all, but it quickly turns to despair when said symbiote remains as imperceivable as before despite all of Eddie's efforts. Perhaps that makes learning how to love all the more interesting when Venom inevitably returns.





	1. Chapter 1

 

_"Lover, I'm alone. Would you make this house a home? Would you tell me who to love? Or who just wants to take my soul."  
_

-Lamplight, Del Water Gap

 

* * *

 

Venom's semi-return had come out of nowhere. Eddie had moved about his day, feeling the usual pang of loneliness he'd gotten all too used to after both the end of his relationship with Anne and the death of his parasite. The parasite had been eating his organs and non-consensually taking control of his body, yes, but the feeling of power--of  _company_ \--was enough to make Eddie miss him dearly. They'd saved the world together, after all. 

But then, without warning, as Eddie ripped into his third bar of chocolate for the day, a deafening purr echoed through his head. In a state of instantaneous panic, Eddie threw the chocolate bar across the room and the purr quickly turned into a low grumble. Black goo eased out of his arm and crawled across the floor to retrieve the lost chocolate as Eddie gaped at what he was seeing. 

"Venom?" Eddie asked quietly. He must be hallucinating: Venom was dead. But here he was, the bar of chocolate that he'd thrown across the room back in his hand. Even so, there was no response and disappointment quickly filled him. For a second, he had allowed himself to hope for the best, and as always, life had different plans. He sighed and slumped down on the floor in front of his refrigerator before the voice returned.

 **What.** Eddie nearly blacked out from the force of happiness that instantly surged throughout him when he heard that voice inside of him again. 

"Venom! I thought you were dead." The symbiote didn't respond for real this time, but Eddie didn't let it bring his mood down. Venom had sounded noticeable weaker than before and the single word was undoubtedly painfully forced. After all, fire was one of any symbiote's weaknesses and Venom was practically cooked under Drake's rocket. It didn't take a genius to figure out the symbiote was in a state of healing. Weak, but alive. With this new knowledge, Eddie wanted to make damn sure his healing symbiote would be healthy and strong again. 

After that incident, Eddie took care to constantly fill his body to the brim with food. It had been several months since the battle with Riot, which should have been sufficient time for Venom to heal, however, Eddie wasn't keeping himself well fed. Venom was too weak to make a request for food or take control of Eddie's body to scavenge for whatever he could find. As a result, Venom was forced to feed on what little was left for him after Eddie's stomach was finished with it. But now, he was able to feast. It was dead meat but it would do for the time being. 

On some days, Eddie could feel the symbiote shift within him, swimming around after Eddie ate two whole chickens with a side of chocolate and tater tots, but he didn't actually talk to him or manifest himself again. Eddie wondered if Venom was really still too weak to appear of if he was simply too stubborn to. 

"Venom," Eddie grumbled into his steak a month later. "I got my job back.  _The Eddie Brock Report_ is back." There was no response as usual, but, this time, Eddie felt a feeling of pride and happiness that welled up. Eddie sighed and continued eating, resigned. 

"Venom," Eddie said, two months after that. "They're giving me a raise. I can finally afford more of those 85% cocoa bars you like. No more cheap-ass milk chocolate bars." There was nothing. Not even an emotion or image plastered up on the forefront of his mind. In frustration, Eddie slammed his fist into the counter loudly enough that he felt Venom coil up inside in discomfort.

"Hey! I'm talking to you,  _parasite_." He felt Venom's burning indignance at that word, but still no response. "Fine. Be that way. I guess I'll go vegan and see how you like that." The symbiote simply tucked himself away in distaste. It was as if Venom was purposely avoiding talking to him, now. It'd been over half a year since Riot, and Eddie was stuffing himself with enough food to feed a nuclear family, and judging by the fact that he had gained absolutely no weight, the symbiote was taking and using all of that food. But aside from that one occurrence months ago, Venom had not made himself known besides the occasional manipulation of Eddie's emotions to send a certain message. Even the familiar " **Hungry!** " was nowhere to be heard. 

And it simply continued. Eddie, true to his word, had gone absolutely vegan, and after vomiting up a substantial amount of avocado salad (which he suspected was Venom's doing), he felt acutely the sense of lonesomeness. He was sharing his damn body with another creature that couldn't even bother to say one word to him. Anne had barely called and most of his coworkers didn't spare him a second glance during work. Mrs. Chen was really one of the few people who really talked to him, but even with her, conversation mainly consisted of inquiries on how he stayed so thin after eating so much food. 

It wasn't until Eddie felt hot tears on his cheeks in the shower late at night that he sensed Venom stir in concern and, for the first time in months, manifest part of his black exoskeleton. It was a hand--a hand designed specifically to hold Eddie's own in an attempt to comfort.

"Venom," Eddie said weakly. It was probably the millionth time he'd said Venom's name aloud, hoping each time for a response. This time, though:

**Eddie.**

"Venom," Eddie repeated. He began to fall backward in his tired eagerness and all of a sudden, it wasn't just a hand. Behind him, holding him ever-so-gently, was Venom's entire body, fully recovered from his wounds. 

" **Eddie** ," Venom said. It was different out loud. There was less of an echo, for one, but it was the immediate reality of which that was so divine it dizzied. " **My Eddie. We are here**."

" _We_ haven't been here in quite some time." The tone was almost accusatory but it was dripping with relief. "I missed you, parasite. Where the fuck have you been." Venom considered lashing back but in the end, he let the p-word usage slip. 

" **We have been here the whole time, Eddie,** " he said. " **We have been healing.** " 

Eddie sighed and quietly told Venom to get back inside him. Venom complied and so Eddie turned off the water to dry himself. Once he slipped on an oversized t-shirt, he collapsed onto his bed. At his invitation, Venom manifested his head, extending out of Eddie's chest so they could talk face to face. There was a burst of happiness at seeing his parasite in the flesh (slime? goo?) again. Venom smiled and Eddie took care not to mention how terrifying it was, instead settling for a gentle smile back.

" **You are happy,** " Venom said after a pause. " **We are happy.** " 

"Yeah, obviously, since you decided to actually show yourself." Venom tilted his head downwards in what just barely passed as remorse. 

" **We are sorry. The healing process is very draining.** "

"You couldn't at least talk to me? Just a little? I swear, it's been hell alone." 

" **We know. We could feel it.** " Venom shifted side to side. " **We missed Eddie but we were too weak.** **We are sorry. It was painful for us to even eat, let alone talk.** " 

Eddie didn't know what to say, so he simply conjured up images of Venom's fully formed body against his, and Venom instantly complied. Slimy or not, it was pleasant enough to feel another body in such close proximity. Touch-starved, Eddie traced the glossy white lines on Venom's skin and gently poked each of his teeth, which prompted Venom to extend his tongue in response. It was a sensation new to Venom, as the only thing that touched his teeth was meat, preferably alive. It was definitely strange to feel his host touching that area. Venom purred softly before Eddie stopped, falling still and silent in his symbiote's powerful arms. 

" **We are healed, Eddie. We will protect you. We will be here. Forever,** " Venom said after the silence lingered long enough to lend itself to discomfort. Eddie nodded softly. He was tired, so very tired, and falling asleep in Venom's arms seemed to be a good way to fall unconscious. It was the same fucking parasite that stayed dormant for so long, but it was also the parasite that was holding him in such a pleasant way. With a light smile, Eddie tucked himself into Venom's body, mouthing the words  _I forgive you_ before falling asleep. Venom didn't hear it, but he didn't need to. He snatched the words right out of Eddie's mind and clung to them as he slipped into his own resting period. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rating subject to change. 
> 
> A/N: This has been a lot of fun to write! This is my first fic and it isn't beta'd so I'll cross my fingers and hope for the best. Feedback always welcome. The first chapter is a prologue of sorts to possibly a longfic.


	2. Chapter 2

Venom's full return marked the end of what was quite possibly the lowest point in Eddie's life. He remembered the days he spent just dragging himself along. He had his job back and especially after his promotion, money was no longer an issue. His living arrangement wasn't the best of the best but it was adequate. His coworkers respected his grit when it came to his commitment to taking down the Life Foundation despite what it cost him. But when he was in his room writing or researching, that was when he truly felt the consequences of the series of events that led him to this moment. 

But that all changed. 

After Venom had fully healed, life had become more chaotic. Talking to "himself" at work nearly cost him his job and his coworkers began to distance themselves from him for that, but it didn't matter. Because Eddie Brock was  _happy_. 

 **Eddie. Eddie Eddie Eddie Eddie.** Venom screeched in his head after a long day of interviews. 

"I told you to be quiet!" Eddie said harshly. "I'm going shopping, okay? Don't make me look crazy in public. We talked about this." 

Venom grumbled but did as he was told. Eddie motorcycled to a grocery store and as soon as he was inside, he began instantly filling his cart with bags and bags of tater tots. He picked up some lettuce and carrots for himself on the way, much to Venom's distaste ( **We are Venom! We are not rabbits and we shan't eat like them** ). Eddie ignored him and filled up on chocolate, which quickly silenced the symbiote's complaints. He felt Venom coiling in excitement inside of him as he paid for the food at the self-checkout. A short ride home later and he was, at long last, home. 

 **Eddie.** Venom purred as Eddie preheated the oven.  **Eddie.**

"I got your fucking tots," Eddie said. 

**Eddie, we want our food now.**

"Well, you're going to have to wait. I can't control the oven, Venom." 

**Eddie, _hungry_.**

"Believe me. I know." 

Eddie poured an entire bag on an aluminum foil covered baking sheet and shoved it inside the oven as soon as temperatures reached 450 degrees. He set an alarm on his phone for twenty-five minutes before collapsing on his tattered couch. Venom was quick to fill the silence. 

 **We are hungry.** Venom said stubbornly before easing out of Eddie's chest. He bared his teeth. 

"I'm making you food right now," Eddie sighed defensively.  

" **But we want meat. Live meat. _Human_ meat.**" 

"I know you do, buddy. I, on the other hand, don't want that. At all. Ever." 

Venom's black head swung in disapproval but he didn't respond. As the minutes ticked by, Eddie began to doze off. Venom was surprised at first and considered waking him before deciding to just manifest his whole body to hold his host close. When the twenty-five minutes passed, Venom struggled to get the phone to register his "finger" before just using one of Eddie's to turn off the alarm. Soon after, a line of black goo trailed across Eddie's apartment, starting at his chest and ending in the alien monster standing in the kitchen, shoveling all of the still hot tater tots into his mouth. Venom returned afterward and stopped when he was in front of Eddie. He tilted his head, looking at his host in interest. 

Eddie was often harsh. Venom didn't mind it all too much because he knew from reading his mind that Eddie didn't truly mean it. But even so, he looked a lot less harsh when asleep, exhausted from days of work and months of maintaining two creatures with one body. When the lines on his face fell away in his sleep, he looked gentle, almost. Venom smiled. His human was adorable, he decided as he carried Eddie to bed. It was the first night since his return that Eddie slept with his symbiote fully formed and wrapped around him. 

 

* * *

 

Sunlight filtered in through Eddie's northeast window as morning came around. Venom had exited his resting period a few hours back and was just watching his host sleep. When Eddie stirred, Venom turned his head and extended his tongue. 

" **Good morning, Eddie,** " Venom said as Eddie blinked himself awake. 

"Wha-" 

" **You fell asleep when we were waiting for the tater tots to cook,** " Venom said, helpful as always. Eddie grabbed his forehead and sat up. " **It is Saturday. Do not worry, you do not have work.** "

Eddie didn't respond, he simply grumbled for Venom to get inside him, and once he did, Eddie dragged himself over to the bathroom and splashed cold water on his face. Venom growled at the sensation but didn't make a thing of it. He quickly brushed his teeth and went into the kitchen to preheat the oven before Venom could even tell him how hungry he was. He could feel the symbiote beaming with pride inside of him and Eddie felt warmth inside of him at that. His mind flashed back to waking up next to Venom, who had to have carried him to bed and all of a sudden an idea hit him.

"Hey, Venom?" 

**Yes, Eddie.**

"You wanna go out?"

**Out?**

"Yeah. Just you and me."

**Will we invite Anne?**

"No. Just us. And you said it yourself: it's Saturday."

**Alright, Eddie.**

Eddie smiled to himself and threw on a hoodie. Baker Beach wasn't that long of a motorbike ride away, and Venom was strangely dormant during the trip there. Once they arrived, Eddie found a secluded area where his conversations with Venom would go unheard. It was at the height of Autumn and the weather wasn't pleasant, but Eddie was running hot with the task of having to house his symbiote. But not only that, Venom seeped out just a little on the areas that were already covered by clothing so any happenstance people who might pass by wouldn't be able to see but Eddie was still warmer. 

Baker Beach was just to the west of the Golden Gate Bridge, and Eddie stared out at it from his little spot beside some big rocks. The sound of water against sand was nice, and Eddie found himself holding himself with little bits of Venom on his skin. 

**Eddie.**

"Yeah?" 

**We like it here.**

"I knew you would," Eddie said. It was quieter here at this time of year but the view remained just as good as during the summer. The little amounts of green in the area were turning orange and red and Venom lit up in delight. 

 **We are glad we came here.** Venom said. He paused, his confusion rising in Eddie's mind.  **But why did you want to come here, Eddie?**

"I used to come here with Anne," Eddie said. "She liked it here too and it quickly became enamored with the place too. It's quite popular but it was  _our_ place too, you know?" 

 **I do not know.** Venom said.  **But I would like to know.**

"When we're close to other people, we can sometimes make certain places special to us. A place to, uh, mark our connection or whatever. A place with old memories where we can go and refresh them as well as make new ones." 

**Oh.**

"Yeah. Really, you can make any place your place. You can make memories anywhere and anything can become special to you. When you love someone, I guess, that's something that happens a lot." 

Venom considered this for a minute, watching the waves crash angrily against the shore through Eddie's eyes. Serenity, Eddie could call it. 

**So, are _we_ in love? **

Eddie's eyes snapped wide and he froze. The question came out of nowhere and the weight of it was crippling. But no, that wasn't right. Eddie brought his hands to his head. It wasn't really a question at all. It was a voicing of the inevitable. It had been quite some time since Venom had manifested himself in the shower all those days ago, and ever since then, the love had been a simple truth. A truth that Venom did not know enough about to understand--a truth that Eddie did not allow himself to recognize. 

Eddie supposed that was probably the reason he wanted to come out here just him and his symbiote. He looked at the waves as time crawled by and Venom grew agitated, waiting anxiously for an answer even though he wouldn't immediately know how much it meant. Eddie exhaled.

"Yeah, I guess so." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Wow, I wasn't expecting this response! I want to keep testing the water and see where this can go. Thanks to everyone who's reading and enjoying so far. As always, feedback is wanted and I can't wait to hear what you all have to say!


	3. Chapter 3

Venom slithered around the apartment when Eddie was asleep, going to the kitchen first to satisfy his stomach before returning to sink back into Eddie's snoring flesh. 

Two weeks ago, Eddie had said they were in love at that beach. Venom had stayed silent for a moment before talking again about dinner and wanting to eat people. Eddie had snorted and reluctantly agreed that if they saw a bad guy on the way home, Venom could have a quick snack. Venom had been disappointed when no such bad guys were in sight. 

Though neither Venom or Eddie had brought up the 'love' again, both of them were constantly thinking about it. Venom, specifically, didn't know what it meant. When Eddie was knocked out cold after more long days at work, Venom sometimes used his finger again to unlock his phone to look at pictures of Eddie and Anne. They were always smiling ear to ear and their arms were often wrapped around each other so affectionately and, Venom assumed, lovingly. 

Each time, he'd put the phone back where he found it and curl up next to Eddie to enter his own rest period, his mind racing. 

But the days dragged by regardless filled mostly with thought-filled silences and tater tots. 

Venom was expected to stay silent during work, and he tried his best. For the most part. But ultimately, he grew quickly bored, trapped in Eddie's mind. Eddie had made perfectly clear that Venom was not to talk to him unless it was a direct emergency ("If we're about to die or if tater tots go on sale") and he was absolutely never to manifest any part of his body anywhere in public ("Unless we're actively being shot at, and even then, try to be discreet!"). 

So boredom left him cranky and tired and on one particularly dry day, Venom decided to do a little poking around. He was looking for one specific memory. 

Baker Beach. 

So he filtered through years of nonsense until he finally found it. 

The beach itself was more or less the same, but Eddie himself was different. He was sporting a cleaner, younger look. Anne, on the other hand, looked like an absolute goddess. Or perhaps, that was simply how Eddie chose to store the memory.

Nonetheless, Venom watched, increasingly intrigued, as they sat together and watched the waves with sand beneath their toes. He listened to her whisper sweet nothings into Eddie's ear before they both arose and retreated to somewhere more private. Slowly, Anne undressed and climbed atop Eddie, and as soon as the sensation began to materialize and pool inside of him, Venom pulled out of the memory with a strangled growl.  

Eddie had been in the middle of a meeting when he heard Venom's growl surging through his head, and he quickly excused himself to the restroom, attracting some odd stares to his hurried exit.

"What is it?" Eddie asked as soon as he made sure he was alone. "Is everything alright?" 

**You procreated with Anne.**

Eddie froze for a moment, discomfort crawling up his spine. 

"What?" 

**At Baker Beach. You procreated with Anne.**

"We didn't--I wasn't-- _what?_ "

 **Your memories. I can see them if I so wish.** When Eddie didn't respond, Venom continued almost tentatively.  **You told me that you made memories at Baker Beach. And that when people love each other they make memories. I...I wanted to see what those 'memories' were like.**

"Well, uh, yeah, I guess. You could say we 'procreated'." 

**But you have no offspring with Anne.**

Eddie sighed, "This is a conversation for later. I have a meeting to finish." 

So Venom did as he was told, brimming with curiosity and boredom once again as he retreated to the back of Eddie's mind, thinking idle thoughts as Eddie finished up his day at work. On the way home, Eddie picked up more food. The ride was silent between the two. 

Once they arrived home, Eddie chucked some tots on the oven before collapsing on the couch, days of hard work getting to him. It was only now that Venom manifested a gooey, black head before his host, giving him a quizzical look. Or, as quizzical as it could get--the symbiote looked the same regardless of expression for the most part. Eddie sighed.

"What do you want to know." 

" **You said we love each other, Eddie.** "

"Yeah." 

" **On my planet, love is not a concept we have or understand.** "Venom tilted his head to and fro, seemingly anxious. " **We find hosts, whom we will drain. Once the host is no longer useful, we find new hosts. Symbiotes do not 'love' other symbiotes. We are not partial to our offspring, either.** "

"So you gonna do that to me too?" Eddie joked. "Gonna leave me to rot when I'm not useful anymore?" 

" **No, Eddie. We would never do that. We love us.** **You said that to us.** "

"Yeah. I did." They paused for a moment, brown meeting white. 

" **Why do you not have offspring with Anne, Eddie?** "

"Because we weren't trying to...procreate."

" **What were you trying to do, then?** " Eddie tilted his head, affection dripping off of him. 

"Can you feel what I felt when you watch my memories?"

" **We can, but only to the degree you remember them.** "

"Can you feel what I feel?" 

" **Yes.** " 

Eddie smiled at his symbiote. A hand strayed from his lap to his jeans, deftly undoing the button and unzipping the zipper. Venom watched in silence as Eddie freed himself--silence that was quickly broken as soon as Eddie's hand closed around his half-hard cock. Venom practically cried out at the sensation, white eyes going wide. 

"We do it to feel good," Eddie said as he began to gently stroke himself. "We have other reasons, of course. But mostly to feel good."

" **Anne is not here.** "

"You don't need someone else. It's nice to have someone else, but you can do it yourself. It's called masturbation." Venom nodded idly, lost in new sensation, before collapsing back inside of his host. Eddie chuckled and quickened his pace, earning him a yelp from inside his mind.

 **Can I try?** Venom asked after quick minutes passed. 

"Sure thing, buddy."

Unsure of his movements but determined, Venom manifested a hand from Eddie's stomach, reaching down to take over for Eddie. Eddie quickly slumped down into the comfort of the couch. It'd been a while since he'd gotten laid, but he didn't know if this counted. It was more of a mutual masturbation thing--something that took that term to the extreme. Whatever it was, it was good. Venom's hand felt lubed up, strong, and gentle, and Eddie found himself drowning in pleasure.

"I'm gonna come," he gasped, as Venom brought him near the edge. 

" **What?** "

"Oh, right. Just. Keep going. Don't stop. Don't--"

Venom obeyed, keeping a diligent pauce until they both reached a point of climax. Venom's screech inside of Eddie's head would have been loud enough to pop an eardrum, had it been made outside of his body. Eddie found strange solace in that sound.

Spent but craving much more, Eddie sighed his pleasure, asking Venom to come out. So Venom manifested himself, gripping Eddie as soon as symbiotely possible. 

" **We must. Again.** "

Eddie nodded his assent as he leaned into Venom's broad chest, sleep taking him.


End file.
